Father's Day Weekend=Zero Help from Husband Face

Husband Face with Itty Bitty watching K-Dog on a ride at the Fair (more to come on that crazy day)

Husband Face is a great dad and husband, but I really do not think fathers in general deserve a whole weekend to be recognized. Moms are at home all week with the kids and EARN one weekend a year to be adored. Personally I think working a normal job is easy compared to dragging three kids to the grocery store (this is what that looks like: a car seat in the cart, a child strapped to my chest, a leash on K-Dog tied to the cart, and me in tears). Really, is sitting in a office is that hard? I would kill to sit at all during the day. Now I think my Husband is a quasi genius and I admittedly cannot do what he does, so I recognize this is a case by case situation. Husband Face also spends an inordinate amount of time with the kids, he watches/feeds/puts to bed the kids 2-3 times a week so I can go make that dollar. Most dads would not say they are incapable of such tasks, that spiel does not work on me. You have two arms and a brain, figure it out man.

And while I have issues with Fathers Day, Husband Face did not hear about them. I was pretty much the best wife/mother he could have asked for. I took both Saturday and Sunday off so he did not have to deal with the madness of corralling them. On Saturday we hung around the house and then went to a Padres game in the evening. The pads suck, but the tickets were free through Husband Faces work and came with a food allowance so I was very happy and full of expensive ball park food. And thanks to the greatest mother in law, a night away from the kiddos was fun.

We searched the park for kettle corn. SO worth it!

I love baseball and kisses.

Then there was Sunday. This year we have implemented a new rule concerning holidays, especially Mother's Day and Father's Day. On the latter two days, the Mother (me) or the Father (Husband Face) can choose what she/he wants to do on their day. We have also decided that we will go to one families holiday party per holiday. This decision was made after K-Dog had a sugar meltdown at Easter and the twins were a wreck from being of their napping schedule, it was loud and involved lots of tears and will never happen again. I hate it when my kids breakdown or act like brats in front of family. Because as much as we all love each other I know the judging is coming down and cannot stand the scrutinizing looks of pity/failure. We want to accommodate all of our family sprawling from North San Diego county to very very East San Diego county, but it is not going to happen for awhile, at least until the twins are in grade school. That being said Husband Face decided to go golfing and get extremely inebriated while doing so. I took all three of the kids to my family's house to see my daddy. It was relatively stress free. I do not remember any major breakdowns. I always held a baby and then various members of the family would hold the other half. K-Dog ran around a pool (I know that this isn't safe, and he has since learned his lesson the hard way, but at the time I was not going to rock the boat with petty safety concerns). Husband Face came home after 9 o'clock and then made a bee line for our bedroom. K-Dog falls asleep in there and then when we go to sleep we transfer him into the kids room, this avoids the risk of having K-Dog wake the babies up with his constant requests for water/toys/hugs. Drunk Husband Face and K-Dog proceeded to talk about his golf game for an hour. This is the conversation I heard:

K-Dog: Did you hit the ball over the tree?
Husband Face: Yes, I hit it over lots of trees
K-Dog: Oh, that is awesome. Did you hit the leaves?
Husband Face: Yes, and most of the time I hit the tree.
K-Dog: (Laughing) Why did you do that?
Husband Face: Because I suck at golf.
K-Dog: What is suck?
Husband Face: Don't say suck.
K-Dog: Why? Because you said.
Husband Face: No, because your mom said.
K-Dog: OHHHHH. I am mad at mama.
Husband Face: Why?
K-Dog: I don't like her hair.
Husband Face: Why?
K-Dog: It is not awesome.

Overall it was a good day and my hair was weird. I spent the day with my dad and further developed my crush on Ricky Barnes, and Husband Face realized how horrible he is at golf and further developed a drinking habit. No complaints, except for Barnes losing the open.

I think that people may be concerned that we do not want to spend Mother's/Father's day with each other as a family THE WHOLE ENTIRE DAY. Newsflash: We do that every weekend. Not joking. We never see our friends or go shopping or be frivolous. We work and hang out with our kids. That is all. So for one weekend a year we decided to be selfish. And I am completely comfortable in that statement.

Month 39 of MommyHood, Month 5 with the Duo

Me and all the kiddos at Sea World.

I was talking with one of my close friends and apparently my blog may portray that I am I miserable human being and generally unhappy. This is simply not true. In order to dispel any rumors and reassure concerned parties, once a month I will write a letter to my kids, and post it here. Not wanting to be a horrible parent, most of the content will include anecdotes that express how much I love them or me rambling on for 500 plus words about their sparkling blue eyes. It will be riveting.

In May, I took you to Disneyland all by yourself. You at tons of candy and got spoiled rotten. This is my attempt to buy your love and good behavior.

Us at Disney on the swings. We went on them 4 times. It was sickening.

Playing video games with pops.

K-Dog, do not tell the other children (or your father) but there is no way I can ever love anyone as much as you. When I was pregnant with the twins I would cry every night because I felt so bad for "ruining" your simple little world. While you don't get as much attention as you did pre-babies, you love your brother and sister so much. You are a fantastic older brother. You know who is crying without looking at them and you always remind me when it is time to feed them. I have never had to tell you to be gentle or careful around them (but I may start, you accidentally threw a bat at Itty Bitty the other day), you have always just known that they are fragile. You try so hard to be quiet when they take naps, but it is impossible for you to have any type of ""inside voice" and you feel bad when you wake them up, so I try not to be mad at you. It is the beginning of summer now and soon you are starting swim school. You love to swim/float. The previous two summers I have scrambled to make sure you don't jump in every body of water (including, but not limited to: pools, fountains, streams, the ocean, puddles), but now you patiently wait by the edge of the pool. I cannot wait to watch you swim the pool by yourself. You are getting so big now. I swear everyday you have ten new phrases. One day you came home from school answering all my questions with, "I don't know" and "whatever." I nearly lost my mind and told you those were bad words and the other day you told grandma not to say "whatever." You are simply adorable.

You and your father were matching and I had to document the moment. Sometimes I think you only got his DNA.

Swinging with your girl.

Big J, you are just easy to love. You are going to be exactly like your father. So easy going it is almost annoying. You are no longer a little infant that resembles an alien like creature. I cannot believe how big you have gotten. Seriously 5 months ago you were this tiny little guy with bug eyes, luckily you have grown into all of your features. I think it is impossible, or at least extremely unlikely, to have cuter children, which contributes to the easy loving part. I have a theory that ugly kids may be harder to love. If someone is throwing up and screaming all day at you AND they are ugly, my love would run thin. Anyway, you are far more active than Itty Bitty, and as much as I try not to compare you two, it is inevitable. While Itty Bitty wants to spend her time eating her hands and being held, you don't mind playing by yourself on the floor. You have mastered rolling over, and Itty Bitty hardly tries before she NEEDS to be picked up. But you love cuddling too. And my god, your laugh is the cutest thing ever. You giggle and coo anytime anyone looks at you. Today we were at McDonald's and I was trying to wrangle the crazy child to go and you started falling out of your stroller. Instead of telling me, a woman came and picked you up and you could not stop laughing and looking at her. While it was extremely awkward and inappropriate of her to hold my baby, you loved her, just like everyone else in the world.

You are even ladylike in your sleep.

Swinging with one of your boys.

Oh Itty Bitty. I predict that in 16 years your brothers are going to beat up a string of boyfriends, because you are drama and are going to be a looker. I could look at you for hours. And while 95% of the time you are covered in baby puke and have never smelt good, you are beautiful. The blue eyes and dark hair are trouble waiting to happen. From the moment you were born it has been so obvious that you are a little girl. And for the record you have your father wrapped around your finger. I would start asking him for a car ASAP. You are quite taken with him as well. I know I am old news, and only carried you in my body for 8 painful months, but it would be nice to get cute Itty Bitty smiles all the time. Truly I don't mind, I look at your poppa the same way and I am ecstatic to watch my husband and daughter hang out. Also, I ask Husband Face this all the time, could we be friends in 20 years? I see these mother/daughters shopping and laughing with each other, and I think they genuinely like each other. Can that be us? I will try not to be crazy and could you try not to be a brat? Deal. Aside from your killer good looks, you are a happy baby, now. The first 3 months of your life you were miserable. Since you were so tiny your little stomach and kidneys had not fully developed, so you had a reflux and other preemie issues. I felt so helpless when you would cry for hours for no reason, at time driving us crazy, I am relieved that you seem to be feeling better now. You are my precious baby girl who is happiest when being held and tickled. I am the same exact way, maybe we will be BFF in 2029.

Mothers Day 2009

K-Dogs Theatrical Debut

Last week K-Dog had his first recital. I was a hot mess. I was convinced one of two things was going to happen: 1)He sees me and leaps off of the stage and proceeds to be obnoxious and we leave the school mortified. 2) He cries the whole time and we leave the school mortified. Luckily, I completely underestimated his theatrical prowess.

When he first walked on the stage he nearly jumped off when he saw me (I know my boy). I yelled (not crazy angry yell, but polite urging please don't embarrass me in front off all these parents yell) at him from the audience to stay there with all his friends and get this, he LISTENED. I was amazed. For some reason his teachers, who are well aware of my childs' severe anxiety issues, put K-Dog front and center. When he was actually looking at the crowd (the majority of the time his back was facing the audience and he was singing to the kids behind him) he looked terrified. But that all changed when "Hot Potato" of Wiggles fame came on. K-Dog has never been more excited than in that moment. His big blue eyes lit up and he began jumping for 3 minutes! Words cannot express the joy that those four men in matching spandex bring my child. Here is the video to prove it:


While I have the Wiggles on my mind, let me say, what the hell? I will be the first to admit that Anthony is a hottie, a toddlers across the globe would agree with me. But the nation of mothers is sick of "Fruit Salad" and not impressed by the "Big Red Car," the Australian quarto is getting annoying. The todders however disagree, they are like the Beatles for them. K-Dog watches little TV now, but during the long hot days of being prego with twins last summer the Wiggles (along with Elmo and Nemo) practically raised him as I lay motionless on the couch. That summer, I ingested every Wiggle lyric and wondered how Anthony looked so good in spandex.

Husband Face hates the Wiggles. He is one of those guys that is constantly saying, "Why didn't I think of that." He is also mad at Google and any social networking site (he claims that he invented MySpace when he was 12). When I told Husband Face how much the Wiggles were worth, plus that all of the hot moms love them, he began hatching his own children's band in his head. Husband Face says that he has a far greater superior intellect and should have of been a dancing/singing fool, software engineers get no ladies. He rambles on about he can make much better children programing and then (while intoxicated) tries to convince other 24 year old males to sing and dance there way to riches. To date, I have not seen any demo reels of my husband dancing to classic kids tunes, but I would not be surprised if one were to surface.

Golfing in our Condo "Backyard"

This is the most white trash series of photos ever taken. As you can see K-Dog is not wearing any pants, but has a helmet on, crucial. Also, our backyard is littered with toys and various other junk, adding to the overall appeal. Amongst the chaos, let us observe my sons' excellent swing. These photos will be in the PGA Tour pamphlet one day.

Are you joking me? My 3 year old keeps his head down the whole time... Watch out Tiger.