Three Kids, check. Husband, check. Mortgage, check. Graduating college, check check... I think I did it backwards.

I asked Husband Face how many other graduates he thought were thrown up on before the ceremony. It is SDSU, hangovers are not uncommon.

In September 2008 I was walking the proverbial halls of SDSU with two babies in my uterus. As a sat down for my first class of the semester I thought to myself, "I have been sitting in classes for nearly 6 years and have never failed one, why am I still here?" The class was "Writing for TV" and as the Professor spoke I realized that I already knew this information. When the class dismissed I made a beeline for my counselors office. After literally 45 emails between five different counselors/teachers/academia big wigs the remaining three classes I needed to graduate were suddenly "found" in my lengthy college history. While a normal student would be mad that she/he was graduating with 160 units, compared to the normal 120 (nearly a year and a half of additional education), I truly did not mind. Honestly the only reason I even went to the counselors office that day was because it was bloody hot outside and I knew she would have a nice cool beverage (a little water cup and drinking fountain) waiting. Also I had been to FIVE different colleges and was just asking for the powers at be to royally screw up. Did I mention that I genuinely enjoy school? Not only is it a day out of the house and away from children throwing up or throwing tantrums, I was among adults, well future adults. Without a doubt I was always amongst the most well spoken and studious students, which quite frankly isn't a huge accomplishment at an institution that periodically has syphilis outbreaks. But hell I like feeling smart amongst my peers and not just around small children. Me at SDSU is like being the tallest midget.

Long story short, I have been done with college courses for a year now but just "walked" this past weekend. I showed up to SDSU surprised at how weird it felt to be there. It was like running into an old friend that you hadn't seen in awhile. Unfortunately I had zero human friends there. Being away for a year did not bode well for my popularity. I ran into one person I took a class with a few years back with and was ecstatic to see someone I recognized which in turned scared the person away. The ceremony was fairly long which was fine by me. I sat alone in peace and quiet listening to the soothing sound of professors gripping over budget cuts (I think CA needs my tax guy, he can fix anything) and hundreds of names being called. When it was finally my turn to walk it was a genuine bittersweet moment. The lady reading my name was my favorite professor (which made me long to sit in one of her classes) and she read it with extra enthusiasm. I realize that furthering my education is not in my immediate future, and that saddens my soul. I am trying to be normal and not do 1,000 things with my life. School was difficult enough with just K-Dog and Husband Face to look after, the twins would experience significant neglect if I went back for my Masters. I would like if they did not have severe mental issues directly caused by me.

My 5 seconds of recognition.

Husband Face and I enjoying the kid free moments.

"Kiss me dammit, and make it look cute."

My "little" brother came with flowers. A few minutes after giving my the flowers he asked for them back and wanted to take several pictures of him giving me the flowers, to document his kindness. It looks like we are going to some type of strange prom.

After the ceremony we had family and friends over to "our" pool complex. I dressed the children in matching SDSU apparel, it was precious. Overall, a good day. However, after staying out to late with my girlfriends that night I got sick, as usual. If I do not treat my sleep deprived body very gently I immediately get sick. I had to work all day (the second day of a new job I don't really have the clout to call in sick yet) and then we had my sister-in-laws graduation party immediately after my shift. We march into the party (anywhere we go looks like an effin' parade) and after about a half hour of me infecting the masses with my germs I crash in her bed, for two hours. Awesome. Happy Graduation Steffers, we of course forgot to get you a present but I am going to go sleep in your bed, leaving my screaming children to fend for themselves. Enjoy.

Now all of the kids are varying from grouchy sick to deathly ill and Husband Face is in quite the mood after being stuck with the kids while I was working and dying of baby/sleep deprived flu all weekend. I told him I am "stuck" with children all the time and it is a wonder I am as personable and great as I am.

That would be my son playing by the pool unattended.

What? This isn't a bathing suit?